Wednesday, 3 April 2013
The Flying fox by Jade D.
The only thing that was in my mind, was what every one was talking about... The Flying Fox!
I remembered that my friends had told me that the flying fox was the best part of camp!
My palms were sweaty and my body felt like jelly. I just had to believe in myself.
I carefully stepped into my harness and pulled it up over my waist. The instructor clipped my onto the pully. I let go, all of my worries slipped out of my head.
"Woo Hoo!' I shouted as I zoomed past my friends, "This is so much fun" I yelled out. "Bang" my head had hit the tyres! Suddenly I flew backwards and I felt a small tug on my feet, "the ride was over," I said to myself. As I got unhooked, I took of my harness and walked over to my friends , "you're right" I said, "The flying Fox was the best part of camp!"
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I really like the well-rounded feel to your writing Jade - it has a clear beginning, middle and end. I am also shown, not told, how you were feeling about going on it - excited but also nervous! Lovely work.
ReplyDeleteMrs Prentice
Awesome story Jade, you painted a great picture! :) from Paulette Doherty
ReplyDeleteI like your story Jade!
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